Friday 20 May 2016

'Fem' in 'FEMINISIM'

A quick search of ‘Feminism’ on Google reveals the following:

1.  Kim Kardashian- 'Will continue to click nude selfies', shows middle figure to the society, at the Emmy Awards in the wake of women liberation movement. .
2.  Urban Dictionary- Feminist is a psychotic hoe who is hungry for a dick but doesn't want to show it.
3.  House of Cards star Robin Wright went public on her demands for pay parity with her co- star Kevin Spacey.
4.  Of course I had free sex: How feminist Kavita Krishnan’s mom silenced a troll on Facebook.
5.  Delhi-Based Female Writer Shuts Down Body Shamers with Powerful Poetry.

India is a misogynistic country with a patriarchal set up which needs to be set right. Because Indian men are lecherous and do not respect female species at all. Hence, hard hitting pictures of menstruating girls, videos bearing social messages, bras and pink panties flung open on the roads, celebs and Bollywood stars (men, women and transgenders) propagating the message in their social space to drill some sense into the Indian system is LEGIT

I grew up in a nuclear family of 4, my Father and Mother and we two daughters. Birth of two daughters fulfilled my parents’ desire of ‘We two, Our Two’ and never did they contemplate the idea of having a third child for the possibility of a son. I went to a co-ed school where my teachers advocated friendship between boys and girls. Picking up law as my college degree, even when I had no law background and a flourishing family business in my legacy was appreciated and never debated. Periods, Waxing, Male Attraction and Women Anatomy are discussed in my environment with ease and without a meme. My parents have always been acquainted with my dating life and have never shamed it but have imposed restrictions if it caused me to compromise on my life goals. I am in my late twenties and am single but neither of my parents are frenzy over my ‘ageing’. They are rather supporting me in my career switch. I socialise, go clubbing, wear the kind of clothes I like and enjoy my alcohol. But this rosy picture has had its glorious moments of thorns as well. I was inappropriately touched and fondled as a child. My parents kicked the ass of the molester and made me learn a life lesson to never be a victim but a fighter. I was inappropriately stalked by a male senior at work. I made a hue and cry about it, made the stalker public. He lost his job and his name. I had a sexist for a boss who considered women counsels as adornments of client interaction only. I confronted him at every step. He despised me, I loved my womanhood more. I left my job with my head held high.

I AM THE ‘FEM’ IN THE FEMINIST. 
I AM A FEMINIST AND A VERY PROUD ONE.

Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. Nowhere does it embody men hatred and/or elevation of women to a pedestal of worship and idolism. It breathes Equality, Equality where women are positioned at the same level as men.

Feminism is not an alternative for nudity under the garb of liberalisation. How is flashing breasts/buttocks/vagina a step forward in women’s movement of equality? The whole hippy philosophy of being in sync with God’s creation is utter rubbish. Women are born with boobs, ass and vayjay, they grow with it and are absolutely aware about their functionality. And as far as men are concerned, they are more than okay with them. It’s the exhibition of the face only that they are to get accustomed with. The Kardashians can pop champagne bottles with their bum but that is not why an ass was given to us, right? You know what is right propagation of Feminism? When Julia Roberts on her first visit to Cannes Film Festival, decides to walk the red carpet barefoot, so as to raise the legitimate ‘middle finger’ to the stuffy, old male dominated whiners who run the Festival and had decreed last year that women had to wear high heels. – the pathetic sexist claptrap.  I am not belittling nudity as a form of protests, maybe I am too naïve to understand its importance but those protests come under the category of nudism and not feminism.  Feminism is when women from all caste, creed, colour and religion protest for a unified marriage law in India. Whilst some protest with burqas, some protest with a skirt and blouse.

‘My Choice’ which has no reason of sound logic, is another misunderstood territory of ‘Feminism’. Instead of talking about rape, female foeticide, domestic violence, harassment at workplace, pay gap, the intrusive male gaze or a million other issues that a woman has to deal with everyday, the rebellious answer to everything crazy as ‘My Choice’ is plain bizarre. Flaunting an anorexic body or an obese lifestyle is not an agenda for women liberation movement. Anorexia is as much a disease as obesity and needs attention. Adultery and/or having multiple sex partners is not Feminism. It is abusive and psychotic. Similarly having a progeny is not solely a woman’s choice. The egg fertilized because of a sperm. The donor of the sperm does have a legitimate say to the offspring. To copy the worst male stereotypes, leching, calling names, dominance of a gender, abuse relationships etc., and deciding that women need to do all that to come at par with men, is not Feminism. An eye for an eye makes the world blind and not a Feminist.

Another misconception about Feminism is being a Man-Hater, being a Misandrist. The term feminism is as much for men as it is for women. And inflicting pain to the entire men specie just because a few have a caged mind is atrocious. There is enough of place for you and me under the sun and my outcry about my place does not mean I need your spot. I need an opportunity to create mine. And just for the record Feminists do like men, emotionally, physically, sexually, it’s just that in most cases they prefer brain over brawn.

Any cultural norm to which men are not subjected to is considered a key result area of Feminism. I am a Punjabi and I like the chuda ceremony and might just wear it on daily basis post my marriage. It’s my choice. How does it subordinate me to my future husband? Similarly, fasting, keeping a karwachaudh, wearing sindoor or wearing a niqaab/hijab belittle women. It is a personal choice. I like it, it doesn’t barge into your happiness, how the fuck is it a problem then? Yes, if it is forced on me, then it is my movement of women liberty, it is my movement of Feminism. Feminism is creating a congenial home environment and closing a million-dollar deal at work place.

A bed of roses, with legal privileges and full authority to misuse them is not Feminism. It is being an Asshole. The Indian Judicial System has adorned women with far more privileges than men, which is legit and needed. However, if one misuses the privileges in the garb of plotted woman empowerment it is pathetic and lowly. 498(A) of Indian Penal Code is the favourite of all the vamps. Why? Because if my privileges of being a woman clash with reason and logic, I shall evoke my weapon of being a victim of Domestic Violence and charge my in laws and husband under 498(A). Feminism is not about eradicating the social structure altogether rather of sieving the vices from it.  

The aim of feminism is to ensure men and women are equal. That's the world I want. Not the one where my empowerment comes at the cost of pain to others. 

For me Feminism, is when:

Ø  When one witnesses one's domestic help gleaming bright and distributing 'ladoo' because his first time pregnant wife gave birth to a 'girl child'.
Ø  When a woman who is raped is not victimised by the society but supported to lead a normal life ahead.
Ø  When equal pay for equal work is applicable on both men and woman, at parity.
Ø  When education and career takes a front seat for a woman.
Ø  When marriage and child bearing is celebrated and not glutted down the throat of a woman.
Ø  When woman genital is not used as a colloquial word for idiot/dumb.


Fem in the Feminism is good cause for uplifting the society of its vices not for crashing the social structure altogether.

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